I'm not kidding. Melissa and I were in CVS tonight to get our photos for our passports when we spotted a rare, human species. She looked like your typical nurse wearing pastel scrubs, but there was nothing normal about this woman. On all 10 of her fingers grew the longest fingernails I've ever seen in person before. I saw longer on "That's Incredible" when I was a kid, but that was on TV. This was live and in color - hot pink to be accurate.
I almost dry heaved. I pointed them out to Melissa and she nearly choked as well. What was going on? Was this a dream? Was Abe Lincoln going to come walking down the Aisle with a beaver in hand? Nope. This was real and quite disturbing.
As a female, Melissa deduced that these nails were real. (She noticed things only girls would know.) Her pointer fingers looked like curly cue fries. All of her nails were easily 6-10 inches long. Freddy Krueger would've been jealous.
Upon leaving the store, Melissa and I looked at each other and asked the same question: How does she go to the . . . .?
This summer I played on my first organized soccer team since I was in the 9th grade. We called ourselves the Riverside Rangers. If we rated the season by fun, we were 10-0. If you went by wins, we were 1-9. Either way, I had a blast despite a few bumps and cramps.
